Sing to me of the wota, o Muse!
The number nine. It’s easy enough to pick out the obvious connections Morning Musume has with the number this year: it’s 2009, they stand at an established 9nin lineup, and their 9th numbered studio album, Platinum 9 DISC has been released to some pretty kind reviews. Those are the obvious things.
But I chose to look a little closer and pull out some parallels with the mythological world. A lot of fans are saying that the connections to nine only get eerie if a ninth generation is inducted this year. I say this isn’t exactly the case. The 9nin Morning Musume is now officially the longest-running lineup in the group’s history, and I think there might be more to that than capitalizing on the success Berryz and C-ute have enjoyed with static rosters.
The myth behind the Greek muses is not actually all that well-known. It is the concept of the muses, mostly as proliferated by Classicists and Romanticists, that pervades Western consciousness. Certainly in Asia the knowledge must be slimmer. Despite this, the remnants of influence from the nine daughters of Zeus remain in almost all modern cultures: museums, music, and several words to use the root of “muse” pop up throughout popular society.
Art and creation existed before the muses, but they were instrumental in aiding its creation by mankind. Such is the way of Morning Musume. If we treat Tsunku as Zeus and Heike Michiyo as Mnemosyne, the offspring of their shared time would be Morning Musume. It’s interesting to note here that Morning Musume only saw a 9nin single lineup twice before; until the arrival of JunJun and LinLin, “The PEACE!” and “Egao YES Nude” were the only 9nin singles in Morning Musume history. Since then, five singles. One lineup. Nine girls. The nine daughters, or “musume”, or Zeus. Muse-ume, if you will.
Information on the canon interpretation of muses is scant at best. Even in the words of Joseph Campbell and Robert Graves, the muses are largely conjectural beings with a bevy of conflicting information surrounding their origin and role. The same could be said for Morning Musume, as most non-wota simply know them (if they know them at all) as “that Japanese girl group that’s like Menudo”. Morning Musume originally only had five members; the Greek muses originally only numbered three.
If we extend the correlation, and recognize the myth of Pieride, it has to be considered that Tsunku may, in fact, simply be a foolish king contesting the power of the gods. His Musume, in this interpretation, are pretenders to the muses, named after them and embodying their traits. The Pierides may be suitable for man, but against gods they would fail. In hoping this is not the case (no wota would stand for that!), a self-aware bit of laughter must be reserved for the fact that we even call them “idols.” The gods would be most displeased.
Supposing, however, that 9nin Morning Musume represent the inspirations of art, music, and poetry – what then? How do we go about invoking them for our own purposes? Face it, the concepts of “choral poetry” and “history” as artistic themes are outdated. Not to mention, they don’t really work in the idol world. I’ve dedicated a bit of time to modernizing the court of the muses, and assigning dominion to the ladies who brought the world “Resonant Blue” and “Mikan”. Feel free to invoke Aika or JunJun at your next time of creative need.
Takahashi Ai, as leader and vocal powerhouse of the group, will obviously fill the shoes of Calliope, the most celebrated and well-known muse. Now, Calliope was always identified as the muse of epic poetry, and in the time of Homer and Euripides this worked just fine. Times have changed, and I wouldn’t really say there’s anything epic about the poetry behind “Naichau Kamo”. Let’s turn her dominion into the trump card of the music world: songwriting. Calliope is almost always depicted with her writing tablets and stylus, but for Takahashi let’s change that into a PDA. There, I think this is working so far.
As sub-leader, Niigaki Risa has seen a lot of wota hate (she was already an advertising model when she won the H!P gig), back-shuffling (any solos there during the Mikitty years? Hm. Not many), and awkward puberty (yeah, just… ouch). But through it all, it’s doubtful that Morning Musume would have been the same without her sexy glare and powerful (and we mean powerful) voice. Thus, Polyhymnia, the muse of choral poetry, seems to be a good fit. But instead of choral poetry, why not girl groups? That’s sort of the same thing, right? The emblem of Polyhymnia was a veil, which I suppose was a metaphor for the unity and non-singularity achieved in choral works. Or not. Anyway, for Risa I’d suggest that her eyebrows be her emblem. They’re sort of like a veil, if you squint.
Erato is the sexiest of the muses. Not subdued and sexy, like the sly minx Melpomene, or sexy through her personality like the ever-smiling Thalia. No, just brazen and sort of slutty. After all, she is said to change the perception of what people see. Now, whom amongst the MM girls is constantly changing perceptions? By, oh… winking, perhaps? Tanaka Reina seems to be a good fit, and let’s just make her the muse of love songs (rather than “lyric poetry”). In the opinion of many wota, she certainly inspires the feeling of “eros”. As for the cithara, an ancient instrument usually found in Erato’s company, I don’t even know. That thing looks like a bottom-heavy lyre. Not very sexy. Let’s give Reina a microphone instead.
Moving along in descending order amongst the Musume ranks, Kamei Eri demands to be noticed. This isn’t always an obvious thing until she starts moving. And who would think it? Eri’s personality doesn’t really scream “dancing machine”, but that’s certainly what she is. No better muse than Terpsichore to fit with Eririn. Ironically, Terpsichore is almost always depicted sitting down. Get up and move, lady! Oh, well, at least Eri serves her station well. Speaking of bottom-heavy lyres, Terpsichore’s emblem is a lyre. I’m not a fan of lyres, and I already said Eri wasn’t going to be sitting down on her job as the muse of dance. She’ll be represented by a camera phone.
If you wanted to have your name written in the scrolls of ancient Greece, you called upon the inspiration of Clio (not to be confused with Miss Cleo), the muse of History. Her name actually means “recount” or “make famous”. A dubious thing in the business of muses these days, as history no longer equates with fame. Sayumi Michishige can show you the way to be the muse of idoldom, then. Her name doesn’t really mean “make famous”, but Sayumi was once a term for luxury fabric! No doubt, though, that this girl knows her way around being an idol. But really, Clio, a scroll of parchment? That’s hardly going to be remembered by the wota these days. Sayumi would much rather be carrying around her own photobook.
There is a very interesting parallel to be found between 7th Generation Miracle-chan Koharu Kusumi and Urania, the muse of Astrology. “Astrology!?” I can hear you saying, “what does Astrology have to do with creativity and inspiration?” In Greek times, a lot. The stars dictated what you did, which gods you honored, what the weather would probably be like, which armies would be battling in two weeks. That pretty much sounds like the internet of today.
So, let’s make Koha-chan the muse of the Internet, but then let’s look at the deeper mythology surrounding Urania. She is one of the most invoked muses of the nine, and her influence is seen everywhere, from commissioned sailing ships to institutions to John Milton. Koharu is more popularly visible than the other Musume, thanks mostly to her anime voice-acting efforts. It would be obvious to give Koharu a laptop computer for her dominion over the Internet, but let’s not act so fast. Urania carried a globe and a compass. Why can’t Koharu just carry around her headset and microphone?
Mitsui Aika joined for the second of the two pre-muses 9nin lineups, and it’s safe to say that her vocal debut in “Egao YES Nude” was vocally stellar. She’s made few waves in the idol world since then, but has always been a solid performer. For many wota, she is an idol to be heard and not seen. Euterpe, the muse of Music (plain and simple, no need to change that) knows just what this means. I’m far more concerned, though, with the Aulos, which was Euterpe’s emblem. This pervasive little instrument has gone by many names and has seen many incarnations, but it’s essentially just a long reed flute. I think idols like eating more than playing the flute, so Aika can just munch on some Pocky and call it an Aulos.
The Pandas, JunJun and LinLin, round out the current lineup of Morning Musume (quite literally, in the case of JunJun’s luscious thighs), and our court of muses. They are often referred to in tandem, choreograped, photographed, and even composed in tandem. But their personalities are unique and each is endearing in her own way. Therefore, I propose for their takeover the two muses that complement and also depend on one another: Thalia and Melpomene. These ladies inspired Comedy and Tragedy, respectively, as do JunJun and LinLin for my money.
JunJun, with her crocodile tears on HaroMoni@ and her pouty shenanigans in Alo!Hello. LinLin, with her affable outbursts and knack for working a crowd through comic antics. Even when they’re speaking Mandarin, the girls display a keen sense of pathos. Even the emblems – comedy and tragedy masks – don’t need much updating (in the case of some costumes Morning Musume wears, I think the terms “comedy” and “tragedy” may actually coexist… groan…).
I have to say that I wrote this with a bit of restraint, as I managed to stay my hand at delving into C-ute as the Pleiades or Berryz Koubou as the seven archangels (dipping my toes into an entirely different mythology there, I know). What can I say? The concept of comparative mythology is irresistible to me, and idoling is nothing if not a mythology unto itself, a mythology constructed of living, breathing, but nonetheless manufactured objects of worship.
I do, however, want to start seeing invocations popping up now:
“Sing to me of the wota, Muse, the wota of twists and turns
driven time and again off course, once he had plundered
the hallowed heights of Tokyo.”
WHAT TO DO NOW?